Order restored

After the unfortunate ‘greased slipper incident’, which was duly noted in the Scriptorium Accident Book (hardly a book, say I: more a child’s jotter kept solely to satisfy the prying bureaucratic eyes of wandering Health and Safety officers), Mrs Spelling was accosted and confronted with our suspicions.

‘It’s true!’ she sobbed into her chamois leather. ‘I put the beeswax on the steps and then forgot to buff ‘em up again. I never meant no ‘arm, so ‘elp me!’

‘Mrs Spelling, please get a grip on yourself and stop descending into Dickensian caricature!’ I admonished her sternly. ‘It is most gratifying to learn that the greased steps were an accidental oversight, and encouraging also that you have once more deigned to reside under the Scriptorium’s roof, and to preside over the housekeeping duties. We are much obliged to you. If you had chosen to spend many more weeks at your cousin Mildred’s I am afraid Mr Bennett and I would have passed away with malnourishment.’ As indeed would this blog, although we all might have regarded that as a blessed release.

‘Much obliged, sir’, murmured Mrs Spelling, not quite yet freed from the bonds of caricature, as she retreated from the library.

And so it is that life in the Scriptorium has regained a certain balance at long last. The days are shortening, and the temperature dropping, for we are almost at that juncture in the year when carefree British Summer Time bids us a sad but fond farewell and we once again cower under the surly animosities of the aptly named Greenwich Mean Time. But with a roaring fire in the grate, and the sound of Mr Bennett’s nib scratching in the background, and a steak and kidney pudding in the offing, life is comfortably tolerable once more.